


Can't Take The Country Out of the Boy

by GingerBites



Series: Across the Great Divide [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Class Differences, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, country living
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-06-20 12:17:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15534057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerBites/pseuds/GingerBites
Summary: Its Bruce's turn to be perplexed. Its a companion piece to Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous





	1. The Art of Gnome-Napping

**Author's Note:**

> As I've been writing Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous I found myself thinking of things that Clark does that might cause Bruce some bewilderment, and thus this came to be. I hope you enjoy

"Clark, why did you ship a garden gnome to the manor?" Bruce asked after Clark had answered his cell.

"Oh! I meant to tell you about that. The last few packages that I've received at my place where rather abused. I figured that it be safer sending it to the stately Wayne Manor to keep it safe from my mail carrier." There was a brief pause, "Why did you open my package anyway?"

Through the line, Bruce could hear the click-clack of Clark's keyboard indicating that reporter was still working although it was past his normal scheduled hours at the Planet. There had been several coordinated attacks on Metropolis that week from Luthor. The villain had been trying to distract Superman from a transfer of kryptonite. Unfortunately, for the bald businessman, Bruce had already been tracking the supply, so the man's scheming had come to naught.

Bruce was smart enough to know that all the extra work as Superman, more than likely pushed Clark up against his deadlines. "How are your articles coming?"

"Don't try to change the subject, B. Why'd you open my package?" The growl in Clark's voice caused a smirk to appear on Bruce's face. He knew how his boyfriend hated to feel rushed when it came to writing.

Twisting the ceramic lawn ornament in his hand, Bruce took its red hat, white beard, and blue shirt. The gnome was one of oddest thing that Clark could have ordered. He couldn't come up with one reason that Clark would need the squat figurine.

"Unexpected packages to the manor are not the most welcome thing in Gotham."

There was a sigh on the other side of the line. "So what you are saying is that you were snooping. After all, it had my name on it so you could have called me before you bothered to open it."

"You don't know. Somone could have been targeting you."

"First off, we aren't dating publicly so no one would know to send a package to your house. Secondly, it's from Amazon."

"Becuase an evil genius couldn't piece any of that together."

Bruce knew arguing was pointless. Clark had got it in one. He had just been nosey. Too caught up in the fact that Clark had felt comfortable enough in their relationship have mail sent over to Gotham instead of his mother's. For Bruce, that just showed him how serious things were becoming. Now hearing that it was just Clark trying to make sure his trailer park tchotchke didn't end up broken made the whole thing underwhelming.

"So why did you buy a garden gnome?"

There was a laugh on the other line. "To make a long story short. I bought it for Pete's birthday. He and I used to kidnap a gnome just like that from the front of Mrs. Grady's house and ransom it back to her for baked goods."

Silence followed Clark's confession as Bruce let himself process what he had just heard. The image of a teenage Superman grabbing a garden gnome out of a flower bed in the dead of night, his best friend beside him, crossed Bruce's mind.

"That doesn't seem to be a very Boy Scout thing to do."

This time there was silence on Clark's end. Bruce could picture his boyfriend pantomiming hitting his head against a wall. "How many times do I need to tell you, I wasn't a Boy Scout. I did 4-H for a time, but that's it."

"Close enough," Bruce waved his hand dispite Clark not being able to see the movement. "I just can't see you stealing from anyone."

"It wasn't stealing it was gnome-napping." There was another sigh. "Look, there is a lot more to it than that, and I'm sure you wouldn't be interested to hear the long boring tale."

"No, I've got time before I go out for the night. I want to hear it."

"Fine. Don't complain to me when you get bored half-way through." There was a thump caused by Clark closing his laptop and then a groan as the man thought of where to start.

Going to the cave, Bruce got ready for the night as he listened to Clark tell his story. He found out how Mrs. Grady had lost her husband after fifty-three years of marriage. How Clark and Pete had been volunteered to help the widow from time to time around her house. How they had come to find out that the crotchety old woman loved to bake but didn't have anyone to cook for, but that she was too prideful to admit that she wanted company.

He learned how Pete and Clark had devised a plan to steal one of her garden gnomes and only offer it back for the woman's famous fudge. When they saw how pleased she had become from the silly prank they had continued to do it, even after Mrs. Grady had called them out on it. Clark had even learned how to make the woman's famous Tiger Butter after she had shed her prickly exterior.

When Clark and Pete graduated from high school, they made sure to pass the tradition down to some of the younger students they felt they could trust with the task. It became a tradition for some of the Smallville high students until Mrs. Grady's family came and took her to live in a home. Even after that Clark and Pete had tried to make time to go visit the woman until she passed away.

"Pete and I never knew what happened to the gnome, but when I saw it I just knew I had to get it for his birthday," Clark stated as he wrapped up his tale.

At that moment, Bruce felt his heart clench a little as he thought how lucky he was to have met Clark, and even more so to be able to call the man his partner, in more than one way.

In the past, Bruce had thought about how his life could have ended up so different if his parents hadn't ended up dying when he was eight. How things could have changed if Alfred hadn't been selected to be his guardian. There was always that question that if he could go back in time and change things, would he? But at that moment he knew his answer would be no, just for the simple fact that if he did, he might never meet Clark Kent of Smallville.

"I was wrong... That is the most boy scout thing you could do."

"I love you too Bruce." Came the gentle reply.


	2. Rustler’s Hideaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends, happy hour, dancing, and a mechanical bull

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this series to be fun, but when I start writing from Bruce's perspective things can get a little depressing

Meetings had brought Bruce into Metropolis for the day, and instead of immediately returning back to Gotham, he had decided to stay in town for the evening, to take his boyfriend out to dinner. Bruce had produced them a table at La Chèvre Amère, making sure they would be tucked in the back. A quiet, romantic night was not something that the two of them had often, so he wanted it to be as close to perfect as possible. 

Fate seemed to have other ideas for the night, as Bruce caught Clark locking up his apartment, looking ready to go out.

“Bruce! What are you doing here?” Clark asked a smile on his face as he turned away from his door.

“I was in town so I thought I’d take you out, but you look like you already have plans.” Bruce let his eyes run up Clark’s body taking in, what the billionaire liked to refer to as, his boyfriend’s cowboy chic look; plaid button-down rolled up to his elbows, snug jeans accented by a belt buckle, and a pair of western boots.

Blushing Clark let out a chuckle, “Oh this? It’s nothing really… I can cancel, just let me give Jimmy a ring.” Already the reporter was pulling out his phone. “Unless you want to go with me?”

The hopeful look in Clark’s eye was not something that Bruce could turn down. “I would love to go with you.”

“Well, we better get you changed then.” Clark was unlocked his door and was already pulling Bruce inside.

“Changed?”

“Of course, you don’t think I’d let you go to a simple bar in a suit that cost more than what most people make in a month do you?”

***

That is how Bruce came to be sitting in a country bar called The Rustler’s Hideaway, surrounded by staff from the Daily Planet while wearing Clark’s clothes. Though it was far for the evening that Bruce had planned, with the bar and grill boasting of its two dollar happy hour beers, seeing Clark enjoy himself with his co-workers was worth it; even if there was a mechanical bull.

The group was congregated around three tables, everyone moving and swapping seats as the mingled with one another. Trying to keep out of the way Bruce had seated himself at the far end of the group, occasionally picking at the fries from the basket of chicken tenders Clark had ordered. He would engage in polite conversation as people approached but mostly enjoyed watching his boyfriend. 

This was the crowd Clark Kent belonged with. Bruce couldn’t help the feeling of worry that crept into his brain at the thought. While Bruce was someone who enjoyed quiet evenings at home, it was Brucie Wayne that he had to portray out in public. This caused him to have to interweave his life with that of the rich and powerful, not really leaving time be with the average, working class people.

Not wanting to allow this doubt to throw off the mood he stood up declaring that he was going to buy the group their drinks for the rest of the night. A cheer went up around him, people patted Bruce’s should as he passed by. From behind, Bruce was pulled into the arms of Clark.

“Thanks for that,” Clark gave Bruce a kiss behind his ear before releasing him.

“Well, what else is a billionaire boyfriend good for?” With an indifferent wave of his hand, Bruce continued to the bar missing the disconcerting look that Clark gave him.

Catching the attention of the bartender he opened up a tab for the group as well as ordering a glass of their top-shelf whiskey, not bothering with the brand seeing as how he didn’t expect them to have much of a selection. Picking up the glass placed before him, he leaned against the bar swirling the amber liquor before taking a sip. 

“I didn’t expect to see you tonight,” sliding up next to him, Lois perched herself on the barstool to his right. "Especially dressed so casually," she gestured to the faded Smallville high t-shirt and jeans. “I bet Clark loved getting you into his clothes. How’d he convince you into dressing down?”

Letting out a chuckle, Bruce stuck his foot out to reveal his Salvatore Ferragamo oxfords. “He let me keep my shoes.”

Lois looked scandalized. “You mean you didn’t want to wear a pair of cowboy boots?” Following Bruce’s example, she stuck out her leg to show off the boots she had on as well as her bare legs that seemed to stretch on until they finally came to a stop at her daisy dukes.

“I don’t think I have the legs to pull off those,” he shot back flirtily.

“I’ve seen you in those teeny things you like to call swimsuits. You’ve got the legs.” 

“What are you two talking about?” Clark popped up to the left of Bruce.

“Well, I was coming over to ask Bruce if I could borrow you for a dance, but then we got stuck on talking about who has the better legs."

“I’m not getting in on that argument because I am going to lose that one no matter what.” Bruce was pulled closer to his boyfriend as Clark slung his arm around Bruce’s waist. “And I’m sure that Bruce won’t mind if we dance, as long as I get to choose the song.”

“Deal!” 

Baffled, Bruce watched as Lois and Clark made their way over to the jukebox. They looked great together as they scrolled through songs. It was a wonder that the two of them hadn’t worked out. He let out a sigh as they moved on to the dance floor. Her loss was his gain, but he didn’t know when it would be him on the losing side of things.

The two of them twirling on the floor with one another, all bright smiles, brought back the melancholy he had been trying to stomp down. He took another swig from his glass. Maybe going out had not been the best idea. It had been an hour, he could make an excuse and be on his way back to Gotham in no time.

Looking back to the reporters Bruce was surprised to find that Clark was giving him a look that made his heart skip. A twist and a spin broke their gaze, but then Clark was back and this time mouthing along with the lyrics. Only then did the meaning of the song register with Bruce and why his boyfriend had picked it. 

The doubt that had crept up on him during their time together disappeared as Clark mouthed to him just how good he looked in Clark’s own t-shirt. Letting out a rueful chuckle, he couldn’t get rid of the small smile that tugged at the edges of his lips. The only way Clark was going to leave him was if Bruce ruined things, and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Not when those sky blue eyes that kept catching his icy gray ones had so much love in them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering what song they are dancing to it is Thomas Rhett's [T-Shirt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VVtOIzPg9Q)  
> Also, [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ritTgYWpBYg&t=79s) video is what inspired this chapter. I adore country swing, so I had to figure out a way to incorporate it.


End file.
